The Mental Health Toolbox

Friends, it is cold and dark here in Rochester. I know many of us struggle with depression and anxiety this time of year. Pandemic stresses and trauma certainly don’t help. So what do we do?

First, if you’re struggling to function or having ANY suicidal thoughts, please see your doctor. Please. We love you. We want you to be okay. It is one hundred percent the right thing to get help if you’re not okay. I will be incredibly proud of you for getting help. Medicine is an amazing tool and no number of tips and tricks replace medication if your body needs the physical help medication can provide.

That being said, sometimes we’re walking in a space where anxiety and depression are having an impact, but haven’t gotten out of control. I spent a lot of years struggling against these seasons; I’ve since learned that they are as much a part of my normal cycles as the winter is a part of life in Western New York. Identifying this cycle in my life has helped things feel less surprising and less out of control whenever my typical symptoms start to pop up. It has helped me realize I’m not alone. That struggling is not the same as failing. And most importantly, it has enabled me to fill my toolbox with tools that help me function and cope through the tough seasons.

Whether you’ve weathered mental health ups and downs for seasons or have just landed here for the first time, I believe there are little things you can do to help you feel stronger and more prepared to cope when everything is hard and your view of the world seems a little off focus. I believe you can start to form your own toolbox for coping.

Here are some tools I’ve gathered, one or two at a time, over the years. My list doesn’t have to be your list, but I hope it helps you to think of things that might fit in your toolbox.

1) Talk to your doctor. My doctor knows I struggle with depression. I know I can start the conversation any time this gets too much for me to handle alone.

2) Find a community and let them in. It helps to have people understand. They can pray; they can ask if you’ve eaten; they can remind you to sleep. They can give you extra grace if you send them twelve text messages one day and disappear for a month after that.

3) Find little joys. For me music and candles are some of the easiest tiny boosts when I’m not ready for the moment at hand.

4) Find some green. Seriously. Long spells of brown and gray are hard on our hearts. I have green things growing in my house. I also have a favorite indoor place in my city that’s got two-story-tall plants with giant green leaves. It always lifts my spirits.

5) Get warm. Temperature matters. I have blankets, soft socks, heating pads, and heated blankets. Your entire body will be tense if you’re trying to fight a chill. Give your body the gift of nice, relaxed muscles by treating yourself to enough layers.

6) Get your body moving. Exercise equipment is great if you have it. I’m not talking about strength training here. I’m talking five minutes a day, if that’s where you need to start. An extra trip up and down the stairs or a walk around the block will do just fine. Moving your body can often help your brain find some peace and perspective.

7) Seek out some sunshine. Open the blinds. Get a sun lamp to use while you’re at your desk. Go outside if you can!

8) Try to feed your body well. This can be so hard when anxiety or depression really set in. If all you can stomach is ramen, then ramen it is, because your body needs fuel. But if you can push yourself one baby step at a time, it helps. If you’re not eating fruits or veggies at all, try to aim for one serving a day. Make sure you’re getting enough protein. Drink lots of water. If you know you’re likely to land in a season of struggling to eat, try to shop ahead by grabbing meal supplements or snacks that you’ll actually eat but also have some nutritional value too.

9) Shower. This one is so huge for me. I have to shower at least every other day or I start to struggle, like clockwork. Maybe you have a different equivalent, but watch for those triggers that make you feel icky and start you toward a spiral so you can avoid them as much as possible.

10) Hobby. Find something that you enjoy and make time to do it. Even if it feels silly; even if you aren’t good at it. I’ve been using watercolor markers. There is no brag-worthy product when I’m done, but it helps me decompress in the winter when my go-to gardening isn’t an option. Try to do something that you enjoy that isn’t on your to-do list and isn’t associated with a product.

This list is obviously just a start. I hope you’re able to form a toolbox of your own. I have actual, physical lists in my journal for warm weather, cool weather and where’s-the-sun-endless-winter-gray weather, because my tool kit changes each season. I’d challenge you to make lists for each season as well, and then physically get your list when things are difficult and find one thing to start with. It really does help.

Hang in there, friend. And remember, tool kits are great, but getting help is great too. Please let someone know if your mental health feels out of control. You are not alone, and you are worthy of help and love and acceptance right where you are.

You are still the same person. God is still the same God. Depression and anxiety tell lots of stories, but you can always come back to the truth. You are made in God’s image. You are beautiful. Yes, you.

You are loved.