A Time to Mourn
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
It's still early in all the chaos of the COVID-19 pandemic.
I think we need to find moments to laugh. We need to let our embraces linger (with our immediate family while practicing social distancing). We need to find ways to mend and to love and to build up. In fact, I think these should be our default stance, as much as we are able.
But I also think we need to find times to mourn and to weep for what is lost and for what will never be.
My oldest son is in 2nd grade. Because of the size of his class at his school, his 1st grade teacher moved up to teach 2nd grade. She is wonderful and it's been such a joy to have her as his teacher for two consecutive years.
The other day Heather and I were discussing what the conversation would look like for our son if we had to tell him he wouldn't finish out the school year with her. It's a small loss in the scope of all that is happening, but it moved me in such a profound way.
Would you take a few moments today to mourn and pray for those with great loss today?
The students who won't celebrate their graduation and their educational achievements.
The parents who won't be in the room for their child's birth.
The couples who can't bring together all their loved ones to celebrate their wedding.
The children living in abusive homes, who won't have contact with those who advocate for them and those who keep them safe.
The children in foster care who won't be able to spend time with their biological families and build healthy attachments while visits are suspended.
The elderly at home or in lockdown who cannot sit with their grandchildren.
The partners facing emotional/physical/sexual abuse behind the closed doors of quarantine.
The family members who can't join their critically ill loved ones while hospitals enact strict precautions.
The small business owners with razor thin margins that will have to close permanently soon (or already have).
The healthcare workers who get up again and again to walks towards the mess while we take shelter in comfort.
A constant theme on my social media feeds is to reframe current events to see what will be gained. We have more meals with our children around the dinner table. We have fewer obligations and more time for board games, movie nights, home renovation projects, and afternoon naps. We take walks around the neighborhood and breath the fresh air in deeply in a way we haven't for a long time.
I don't want to take those gains away. But those gains aren't universal and don't outweigh the losses for many.
If you gain much in this season, don’t feel guilty. Please enjoy it. Then take a moment to grieve and pray with those who have lost and will lose so much. And perhaps give from your gain on behalf of those who will hurt in the coming days, weeks, and months...
